Once we were able to move to the point where we wanted to know our options, we made an appointment with a fertility clinic an hour away. The wait was excruciating but a few months later in mid 2010 we finally had our options: 1. We could attempt IVF with an exploratory surgery to Luis that could possibly find sperm; 2. Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) with donor sperm; 3. Adoption.
Of all of these options, number two was our best bet. The surgery (option 1) only had a 20% chance of success to find usable sperm, with the 30% chance that the IVF would be successful as well. Both of these would cost thousands and thousands of dollars as they are not covered by OHIP or insurance. It may be horrible to say, but neither of us were willing to look at adoption yet. I wanted to experience pregnancy and all of the things that go with it. Luis was willing to do option 2, so we decided to proceed with the IUI.
You cannot buy sperm in Canada. To this day I do not understand why they would have this law in place, but they do. So we were forced to use an agency in Canada that would buy samples from the United States. It is a very confusing and overwhelming process to say the least. I won't go into too much detail but you go through a set of criteria and choose a donor. You buy them through the agency in Canada, who purchase it for you in the US and have it shipped to your fertility doctor back in Canada. Each sample runs around $800, and you are encouraged to buy as many samples as possible.
Our first donor was chosen in early 2011 and we purchased 3 samples, it was the most we could afford. Once the samples arrived, we were able to start our first IUI cycle. Because of the fact that I had no previous history of fertility complications and my age, it was decided that we would try this fertility treatment without medication. So once my cycle started I called the fertility centre and they told me what day I would have to go in for monitoring blood work. This was to be done between 7:30 am and 8:00 am in the town an hour away. I would like to state here and now that I am terrified of needles, so this was pretty much torture.
Each morning would be an hour drive, followed by roughly an hour waiting in the clinic for my blood work to be done, followed by another hour drive. These morning 3 hour commutes happened between 6 and 10 mornings before the actual procedure would occur. Everything depended on how my hormone levels looked. To recap that's between 6 to 10 needles, as well as up to 30 hours of travel time. And time away from work. My first cycle was cancelled after three trips because my prolactin levels were too high, about 3 times what they should be (probably from stress). So I was given a prescription to help lower these levels and was to take it everyday without question.
We waited until the following month and started another cycle. This time all my levels were looking good and we made it to the procedure. I will say that for most women this procedure is quick and painless and they can usually resume regular activity within a few hours. For me, this was excruciating. The 15 minute procedure took over an hour an required two doctors and two nurses. As well, I had to take the following day off work because I was unable to get off the couch. The procedure was unsuccessful, and heartbreaking. This also had a price tag of $250 and a day off of work (two for me).
At this point the doctor decided to have me in for a tracking ultrasound to which they would try to determine why the procedure was so painful. So I took another day off of work and spent 2 hours in an exam room with four people, while trans-vaginal and stomach ultrasounds were going on. Needless to say that this was very uncomfortable and almost humiliating. But the doctor believed they got everything sorted out and the next attempt would not hurt and would be much easier on me.
So we had to waited another month for me to recover to try again. We repeated the same process with 6 to 10 needles and up to 30 hours of travel time. But this time the doctor decided we would add monitoring ultrasound as well (which would be trans-vaginal) which would help to determine how large the ovaries were getting and when ovulation was going to occur. So for our second attempt we added 6 to 10 trans-vaginal ultrasounds as well. Again we made it to the procedure, which was still extremely painful. With our fingers crossed we waited the 28 days until we learned that this procedure was unsuccessful as well.
After waiting another month we tried again, repeating the same process as the second procedure. Blood work, ultrasounds, many trips out of town, yet another painful procedure and waiting. With every attempt you convince yourself that this time is "the one", it just has to work this time. But unfortunately the third procedure failed as well.
At this point we were out of samples, money and we were just plain exhausted. We needed to recover from the travel and emotional rollercoaster as well as save up to purchase another round of samples. Taking into consideration the travel expenses, time off work and actual procedure cost, each try was roughly $1500.
We decided to take a break for a few months to regroup and enjoy some free time. We had to meet with the fertility doctor before we were able to do anything and it was determined that because we had 3 unsuccessful attempts without medication, when we started again we would go medicated. It was also decided that I would undergo an exploratory surgery to accurately map my uterus without any resistance (from me being awake and feeling the pain) to determine why the procedures were still extremely painful.
This was my first time going under anesthetic and was very scary. They put me under for a few hours and used a small camera to determine what the cause of the pain was. Another few days off work recovering and this time they guaranteed that the next procedure was going to be painless. Apparently I have a very funny uterus that is both anti-verted and retro-verted at the same time, most women are one or the other. With that knowledge they were able to do practice procedures while I was still under anesthetic to make sure they had everything figured out. And today you all learned something interesting about uterus'.
And that's where I am going to leave it for now. This post is already very wordy and there is so much more to be told without another opportunity to pause. I will finish off our story at a later date, and hopefully someone out there is feeling a little less alone in their journey.
Kerby
Thank you for sharing your story. This is one of the most courageous things I have read in a long time. I also have endure the same struggle with fertility. Not as bad however. It is nice to know I am not alone
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your amazing words. This is something that we feel the need to share because we are going to be very open about it with our children. It's amazing how many people struggle with this in silence, I'm glad everything worked for you though!
Delete